KL, No Quintess just Bob the Legend

We arrived in KL airport with very little idea what we were going to do - fairly standard! We had the name of a hotel written on the back of the sick bag which we showed to the tourist guys who couldn't have been less helpful! We got hold of a map and found that Adrian's Dad's offices were near where all the airport buses go so, even though my birthday was a week away we thought we'd save ourselves a journey and head there first. Looking forward to meeting the mysterious Quintess Rajoo with our envelope of joy we boarded a bus and headed in KL. Upon arrival we were already upset with the ridiculous heat and humidity and the fact that the bus had decided to cover our bags in some black liquid did not help! We trekked towards the office blocks in search of Marty Boy's office, only marginally worried that we looked like and smelt like total tramps amongst these rather well dressed nice smelling business people. It only took as a little while to find it after asking some bemused office dwellers and there we were! We were confronted with a rather baffled lady who asked if she could help us, to which we explained we were here to see a Mr Quintess Rajoo - obvious! She dissappeared and shortly afterwards appeared 'Quintess', no, 'Bob'!?! an american man who ushered us into the office explaining that Rajoo was away and that he had been intrusted with the envelop we had search long and hard to retrieve - our precious!

Bob, the kind fellow that he is, solved our serious lack of accomodation problems by letting us stay in his apartment - sweet! If Marty Boy trust him with our goodies I think we can trust him too, plus its free! Not only was it free but Bob's apartment was seriously nice! We've done well here! We used the net, washed/shrank all our clothes and relaxed for a bit. Rather confused by being on the 23A floor (apparently the Malaysians are scared of the number 4, weirdos!) and rather impressed with the swimming pools, gyms and views we headed out to see what KL had to offer. We sampled the metro and made our way to the Towers, it was night time and they looked stunning all lit up but I was having some problems with the hot dogs from the flight so we didn't make it that far down the strip before we were forced to turn back. It nearly went very badly for the people on the metro but I managed to make it back to the apartment block and after some real difficulty with the security we managed to get into the building and use the facilities on floor 7 as to not disturb our new friend, Bob.

We hit the hay on Bobs sofas and Adrian drew the short straw in being located in the living room (Clapham Junction?!) and may as well gone to work with Bob at 7am :-). I on the other hand slept like a baby in the spare room, oblivious to any such activities. We had a well needed rest before trying to have a proper evening in KL. We made it to a few bars but I have to say the whole, hooker and middle age Brit scene was not that appealing, especially as you have to pay for the privilage of being in the vasinity of such debauchery!

Thanks for everything Bob, you are a total Legend! Keep up the good work!

The next day we decided to leave KL and made our way to the bus station. Jesus! The place was mental. Seriously mental!! After listening to a fat guy shout what sounded like "Debbie debbie debbie, go ska go!" for a few hours we stood at the side of the road with all our bags waiting for the bus to The Cameron Highlands. After being joined by 4 equally confused German ladies the bus pulled up about 100m down the road so after a short run we boarded and were on our way to The Cameron Highlands! Glad to be leaving the sweltering heat of KL behind us!

Krabi, Phi Phi and the end of Thailand

Hey Guys and Girls, sorry its taken so long to get anything up on our blog we've basically been having waytoo much time. Really far behind but here is the next installment of our adventure.

After the festivities of Koh Phangan we made our way to Krabi, after another ridiculous boat trip followed by another mental bus journey in which a girl being ill rescued my bladder from exploding much to our companions dissappointment, we made it to Krabi bus stop!? Well the middle of nowhere basically. It didn't take long before we were approach by a thai guy offering us accomodation right by the beach, it was late and it was cheap so lets go for it! We were joined by Debs, Kate and Chris from Koh Phangan and we were all whisked off in a jeep to the 'resort'. After a mental Canadians recommendations we thought it'd be alright, however, the frogs, ants and massive spiders had a different idea! The huts were set back in the rainforest and were over run with wildlife, not to worry though, me and Adrian could cower in our double bed! - awesome! Still it was the standard sort of maddness that goes with this trip so we decided to embrace it!

The next day we went on a day tour by longtail boat to some of the uninhabitated islands of Krabi. , The Hong Islands. We went snorkelling and I swam to a deserted island before moving on to the Hong Lagoon and flinging ourselves off the boat, having an awesome time. The we went to the main beach were there were a fair few longtails and tourist swiming in what can only be decribed as paradise! More snorkelling, jumping off rocks and treking in the tsunami devasted areas of the island. It was a fantasitic trip and the beaches were unbelievable. We returned late in the afternoon in time to catch the sunset go crabbing on the beach and have a few drinks to celebrate the days success.

We enjoyed the trip that day so much that we booked another day trip the next day to Chicken Island and Koh Poda. Yet again we boarded the longtail and headed out in the waters of Krabi. Chicken Island named for its chicken like headland was joined to 2 smaller islands via a narrow sand bank - awesome! This place was paradise! After soaking up the rays and swimming in the crystal clear, turquoise waters we went to Koh Poda, or Monkey Island as our crazy pink hatted boat driver called it. It didn't take long before we found out why! Monkeys on the beach stealling people water and eating bananas! We took some photos and unfortunately for me one of these monkeys was that keen on fame and chased me!! In the panic I ran straight into a tree! - perfect. Not good, monkey desease! (Sorry mum, kept this from you until everything was alright), the monkey had scratched my foot and so I was super paranoid about rabies! Went to the cafe and got blue napham to disinfect my wounds! Then upon our return to Krabi I went to the 'Hospital'. Bit of a joke and didn't open till 7pm!! So we went for a walk about in a market etc and everyone mocked me for my monkey business. Thanks to Debs for looking after me I eventaully got seen by the doc who said scratches were fine and that I had nothing to worry about but gave me a picnic of drugs to take anyway! - I didn't take these unlabelled plastic bag full of multi coloured pills!! Instead we went out on the town for a few bevvies and then had a beach side drink with our fellow travellers to celebrate valentines day being over!

Next day we checked out after having to find a cash machine and caught a boat to Koh Phi Phi. Everyone had been raving about this place and so we were very excited! We checked into the cheapest accomodation available, which was unbelievably nice apart from the strange viewing window in the shower! Anyway we only had a day and 1 night to do Phi Phi so me and Adrain set off exploring the cobbled streets, admiring the local art work and basically being dissapointed with the beaches after being in paradise for 2 days! There was still plenty to look at however and we were looking forward to sampling the night life which was meant to be epic! We squeezed in the time to trek up the mountain to see the view of the Phi Phi beaches. Would have taken less time if we'd have not gone through the jungle but once again in true Ransday fashion we like to do things the 'interesting' way! Anyway the view was stunning and the nice path down the mountain made getting back much easier!

That evening we treated ourselves to a gourmet dinner before meeting up with Debs and the gang as well as the 3 Brummy Ladies from our jungle trek in Chiang Mai - mental, such a small world! We all went out for a big night! We spent most of it in a wicked bar with a live band who were hammering out the Led Zep and playing the guitar with a pint glass and generally being amazing! Had and absolutely awesome night, with free buckets through in for good measure! It was a messy one and we were all reunited way into the early hours, checked out, went for breakfast, used the net and then had to board the boat to Phuket so that catching our flight would be easy the next day.

Once we arrived at the dock we went through the usual bus catching debarcle but eventaully made it to a hotel which seemed to be way to classy for us but the price was right and we checked into a luxury room with loads of room and even a bath. Before long the toatally gay bell boy fancied Adrian and we had dinner and the taxi to the airpot tomorrow sorted!

We arrived at the airport with plenty of time, had a BK and removed 10kg of clothes from our bags because of the joke baggage allowance, boarded the plane and were off. I never got my chicken fuccacia but instead some nasty nasty hot dog whioch did not go down well at all!!

Koh Phangan, Ring of Fire, Tuk's Tour and the Full Moon Party.

Only a couple of weeks behind but here's some more adventure for you.

After waking up for the last time in Ban's Diving Resort and believing I was underwater without my regulator! You knew this day was going to be a mission. We just about got our stuff packed up and made it out in time to0 check out. We were feeling a bit worse for wear so the few hours wait till the boat left was appreciated. Unfortunately I spent a while sorting my toe that had taken a battering last night and Adrian had failed to get the doctors signature meaning he had to run around like a mad thing in order to get his licence! Eventually Adrian had organised to fax a signature from Phangan which was just as well as the boat was about to leave! We said good bye to Paul and all the friends we'd made diving and went to the boat to Phangan. I was feeling pretty terrible for some reason and after some really unhelpful girls had told me they din't share water we got on the boat. We made it to Koh Phangan after an unpleasant time on the boat and went through the standard unorganised debarkle of getting our bags back before meeting the resort representative for Holiday Beach Resort. We got in a nice car where the passenger was brandishing a huge knife and we were off. When we arrive at the resort the first thing we notice is there's a kitesurfing centre right next door! We checked in and got the key to our 5* beach side bungalow...well..kind of! My first pair of aviators died and we went to bed, we needed a rest!!

After 16 hours sleep we were back on top form. Went for breakfast and check out the resort. So close to the beach, palms trees lining the shore and kitesurfers dotted along the bay. Not sure about the kites and trees mixture but it was cool none the less! We barely made it 100 yards from our bungalow when someone shouted 'Ed!', who on Earth was it?! there was a group of 2 girls and a guy lying on the beach..brain goes in to overdrive trying to work out which of the billion people we've met they could be..then.. it clicks..it's Debbie, Kate and Chris who we met at the dock to get the boat across to Koh Tao! Madness! We sat down beside them and chatted for ages. It was mental, they had met Lochie and Remy and knew about the dog killing!! Then they told us Paul the German was here too and sure enough he showed up, such a small world! We met a guy called Sam who really was an idiot, he'd been on Phangan for 5 months, for one reason 'Pussy on Tap!', what a tool!! We played in the sea with some mental dogs and 3 lunatic thai children, sampled Debs' favourite food, chicken with fried noodles and then relaxed in front of the big screen in the restaurant. Paul taught us a cool card game and we organised to have a big night the following night, it was great to final relax if only for a day!

We woke, 8th of Feb 09, fully revitalised and went for our free (paid for) breakfast. Adrian needed to go see a doctor for a signature and so I chilled and wrote my book, which is become totally epic now Tones! Adrian had to walk miles and took ages and returned once in the middle to collect a vital piece of paper he'd forgotten, what a fool. We collected a load of Samsung and coke ready for the festivities inn the evening and then spent the rest of the day on the beach - lovely. I almost fulfilled a life long ambition to shin up a coconut tree and collect a coconut, but not quite. We had some more chicken noodles and caught the end of Apocolypto the movie, which the girls had seen over 4 times!! We then went to the beach bar to play some pool with Paul. I teamed up with Debs and we immediately became the dream team until we'd had a few too many Changs and got bored with pool and inuendos. We then decided on a game of dare or dare, our own creation! This saw me sampling an irishmans pint, danger and Deb's having to place some fishy ice down her knickers - hahaha. Debs had told me all about how she was a super dooper judo kid and so I challenged her to a fight on the beach. Yeah she totally owned me until she taught me the moves, but I think she was letting me win so not to destroy my self esteem! Before long we were ready for the harder drink to start so went back to Kate, Chris and Fishy Crotch's room for a game of ring of fire - great game!! Before long Paul the German was very scared about the situation, especially as he doesn't seem to show any emotion and we all had a load of writting on our faces!! Most memorable of which was Adrians 'I love Willies', Deb's 'I love Ed', tash and whiskers and Kates numerous gratuatous arrows!! Before long I'd lost most my clothes, an irish man had made the mistake of joining us, earning 'Wank' on his head and some smart ass had suggested a trip to the beach!! Adrian decided to go skinny dipping in ankle deep water, whereas I opted for the hammock - Bad News!
Amazingly we managed to get up in time for breakfast with the standard Samsung hangover from hell and were ready for Tuk's Tour (Tuk was a legend of a guy working at the resort and a damn good artist). The Tour took us around the easten side of the island and started at a waterfall and then took us to a Chinese Temple where there was an enormous Buddha which turn out to be a huge money box! We then went to a Snake Show! When we arrived there was definately a group or tourists with snakes around their necks and a boa constrictor just chilling on the stage - mental! The 10 cent sound system started blairing and out came the world champion snake dancer!!? The show started with some insane dancing madness before the cobras were brought out, this was fairly average and hwe just waved them around like snake poi. I wouldn't have put their heads in my mouth though!! Then they brought out a proper King Cobra which was very angry and the guy scrabbled around on the floor like a demented toddler while this enornomous, very poisonous snake tried to kill him! Then if that wasn't enough he got 3 snakes all around him that were equally unhappy with him tugging their tails etc!! The show climaxed with us having our picture taken with 2 king cobras and a boa constrictor around our necks! I think Adrian had the one which had been down the guys pants!

After having held one of the most deadly snakes in the world, Tuk took us to Malibu Beach, which was a much nicer beach than the one at our resort, lovely sand and plenty to look at! Tuk really doesn't like the Thai sex trade and then we left. Next stop Koh Ma. This place was a small island in the north with a sand spit joining it to the main island. The snorkelling there was unbelievable, better than our diving!! Definately going to go back there just for the snorkelling! I almost got lost before we left for the Amsterdam Bar, last stop on the tour. We watched the sunset in the bar on top of the mountain with a cold beer and some good company. We were back to the resort for dinner with Debs and the gang, watched Babel?! and crashed out after an awesome day. It was the full moon tomorrow so we needed some rest!!

The day of the full moon started with Zohan, followed by Cast Away Day, dreamed up by Adrian and Debs the night before, which involved reinacting scences from the Tom Hanks Movie that I haven't seen. Despite this I basically was the only one trying and definately won with my floating victim, seaweed hair piece and beard, drinking water from a leaf and the hour spent trying to create fire with crap from the beach! I also got my chance to practise writting love letters as Tuk wanted me to write one for him for some gorgeous blonde girl on the beach! Much to Deb's disappointment it didn't read 'I love the way your eyelashes flutter in the morning breeze'!? Instead it was very simple and was all about the rose he gave her! We started to watch Transformers before going to the 7 11 for booze. We aquired some more samsung, dirt cheap vodka, mental thai red bull and some liquid foreplay!? The girls and chris had no where to stay so we said they could stay in our small room!? and so we went back there for some rounds of I have Never and some drinking. Before long we went to the beach bar for some more drinks aiming to be fashionably late to the party. We got some body paint and for some reason I got my face totally covered as a skull face!! I don't think we were sposed to have this paint on our skin! It burnt like the fires from hell!!

Once we were suitably decorated and battered we left for Haad Rin where the Full Moon Party is held. We sang mad songs all the way, like the old classic disney, some Queen and maybe even some Abba!? Debs saved me from getting my head caved in, in a thai boxing ring (still need to do that!) and we went for a few brews in the Warm Up Bar. Then we hit the beach and the buckets hard! It was rammed there were so many people, madness! It didn't take long to get seperated and we both have different stories of that night, thats for sure! I danced like a loon on a podium with Debbie Cockring before getting lost in a building site and trying to get a boat to Bangkok!? Amazingly we were reunited at about 6am around a comatose Paul! We stayed to watch the sun rise and looked back on a mental nights partying before catching a ridiculously expensive taxi back to the resort where we discovered Chris 'dead' on the porch! We all got into bed and tried to convince Chris he wasn't the last back and that we weren't ass holes before catching a few z's and having to check out in 2 hours!!

It didn't take much persuading for us to sack of the boat trip the morning after in favour of a chilled out day and a free bed in the gangs room. We developed a game called Splashy Splashy, watched our last sunset in Koh Phangan and managed to make it all the way through Apocalypto!

The next day we all checked out together and made our way to the boat dock to catch a boat to Suttarani and then a bus to Krabi, we were now a little crew but I think they were just following me and Adrian (the cool kids). At the port the queue was totally ridiculous, much like most of Thailands organisation it resembled the digestive track of a person after a few too many dried apricots and a bottle of Epicack, with the occasional movement of people squeezing through the proverbial svinkter when the name of there destination is called. In true Thai style they squeezed us onto our overloaded boat where there were no seats and we were off. I managed to get a seat while Adrian made a bed from lifejackets which may have been very useful considering how regularly the boat engine was malfunctioning!